Having an unfaithful partner is something that nobody ever wants to experience; but sometimes, these unfortunate circumstances still happen no matter how much we don’t want them to. Perhaps one day you’ve begun to notice that your boyfriend is always busy on his phone and no longer has time for you, so much so that it bothers you for a few weeks and you ask yourself, “how can I read my boyfriend’s text messages without touching his phone?”
However, before you think of the absolute worst and start throwing out all his things, take a deep breath and think rationally. Ask yourself: what’s the best way to react to this kind of situation without going overboard and doing something you might end up regretting? It’s natural to want to scream and fight because you’re upset, but that’s not the best course of action to take.
So, if you suspect your boyfriend of cheating on you, here’s a quick guide on what you should do.
List Down the Pros and Cons
The first thing you need to do when you suspect your boyfriend of cheating is to sit down and create a pros and cons list. It might seem stupid or unnecessary when your emotions feel like they’re boiling over but doing this mundane task can really help you take things into perspective and face reality. Ask yourself important questions, such as, “Is the relationship worth fighting for if the cheating incident is confirmed?”
When a horrible situation occurs, we sometimes resort to denial because we can’t accept what has happened. We try to rationalize and validate the situation. Making a pros and cons list will help you look at things from a different perspective.
Analyze Your Past Relationships
Thinking back to our past relationships can be an unpleasant experience, but we sometimes need to think back on these things in order to receive clarity. It’s important to dwell on the past sometimes, especially in this situation, because you can compare and reflect on what went wrong in your previous relationships and whether you’re repeating the same cycle.
On another note, it’s also possible that you’re just projecting your past experiences onto your new significant other. As such, you may be projecting your insecurities onto them, as well. So, take a few minutes to really reflect on the past so you can move forward with an open and refreshed mind.
Turn To Your Support System
When you’re going through a situation such as this, it’s important to surround yourself with a support system. This can be composed of friends and family—people who want to give you painful advice, whether you’re open to hearing it.
Besides, supportive friends aren’t here to cause any more drama—they legitimately want to support and help you get through this terrible time.
Write Your Feelings Down on Paper
Again, this may seem ridiculous and unnecessary, but writing down what you feel can really help you organize your thoughts. This can come in handy when you’re ready to talk with your boyfriend so that when the time comes, you already have a clear idea of what you want to say. Most of the time, difficult confrontations make us emotional or aggressive, and we end up losing our train of thought. Writing it down will be able to help you stay on track, so don’t be ashamed of bringing a piece of paper with you when the time comes.
Tell Your Boyfriend That You Need to Talk
In these situations, most people would typically say that they’re waiting for the “right” or “perfect” time to talk to their partner. However, this usually means that you’re avoiding the confrontation from happening or at least postponing it as much as possible. This isn’t something you want to prolong, so it’s best if you create the right moment for yourself.
Let your boyfriend know that there’s something you want to talk to them about because when you wait for the right moment, rest assured that it will not come.
Talk in a Safe and Comfortable Environment
The time has come for you to finally confront your boyfriend whether they’re cheating. This can be difficult and uncomfortable, which is why you need to ensure that you talk in a safe and comfortable place. Don’t make the atmosphere feel threatening because it’s highly likely that your partner will only become defensive.
Think of a place where both of you love, and where both of you can feel comfortable conversing freely. Whether it’s in a busy place to avoid any loud outbursts or in a quiet and private area, it’s up to you, but you need to consider it carefully. Set the stage.
What to Do if Your Boyfriend Is Confirmed to Be Cheating
If your partner is being eaten away by his conscience, there’s a chance that he’ll admit to you that he’s been unfaithful. Of course, there’s always a sense of relief in finally knowing the truth, but this can be devastating all the same. Your mind is probably rushing with thoughts and your heart is most likely heartbroken, but don’t lose yourself—here are some practical things you can do after finding out the truth.
Don’t Blame Yourself
This is perhaps the first thing that comes to mind when you discover that your partner has been cheating, but you really shouldn’t blame yourself for it. You’ve done your part and did all you can to be a good partner to your boyfriend, and it’s pointless to try and figure out why he did what he did.
Let It All Out
Don’t be afraid to cry—in fact, we highly recommend that you blow off some steam in this way because it’s a cathartic experience. You’ll feel better after all the tears.
Finding out that your partner is cheating on you is devastating, and nobody wants to experience this. If you’re still suspicious and there’s no proof just yet, you need to remain calm and keep a cool head. It’s important not to let your emotions win in these situations because you may end up doing something you’ll regret. If you think your boyfriend is being unfaithful, follow the tips we’ve listed above for the best possible course of action.